I remember trying to imagine myself in labor during my first pregnancy… Would I bellow like an angry pirate? Perhaps I would find myself in a dark room, breathing quietly and calmly till the very end. Maybe I would be so calm and in control that I would have to inform the attendant that the babe was about to come out because my graceful performance wouldn’t give it away. I had read and heard a few stories that looked like this, so I knew it was possible. Now of days, we have thousands of videos all over YouTube depicting women birthing in so many different states of mind. We see amazing mamas singing through transition, graceful mothers dancing about the labor room and even birthing women swimming with freakin’ dolphins!
Well, I found myself doing a bit of it all while in labor. (Minus the dolphins, or course.) I spent hours in the dark, focusing on my deep breathing while staring at a candle. One might call the moves I was making to the music, dancing, and there was a bit of singing, but you’d never find it on YouTube. I also cursed like a sailor and made a few threats near the end. There was nothing tranquil about the pushing stage, and everyone in the room knew what was happening because I was loudly giving a play by play. All that melted away as I held my child for the first time. I responded to his arrival with shouts of joy, laughter and tears just like in the end of all those videos we see today. I forgot about that sailor that was threatening the crew just a few moments before.
Fast forward to my 2nd pregnancy… How would I respond to this one? I was far more educated, had much less fear and had seen a few more videos. Surly, I would skip the ‘bellowing, pirate-act’ there at the end? Nope. Just another beautiful labor and birth with a noisy end. It was awesome! This is how I birth, this is how I cope with the discomforts of birth. Why fight it? Why not let loose and express myself in labor however I need to?
“Not in Danger! Just having a baby. Please don’t call the Police.”
This is the note I put on the door to my apartment during my last birth, just in case the Birthing-Cursing-Pirate caused my neighbors concern. Because, that’s just how I roll. Let us not concern ourselves with how we look, how we sound or how we are perceived in labor. Let us focus on bringing our children into the world in our own style. And if you are making a video for YouTube, remember that you can always edit it later. Maybe you can even photoshop a dolphin into the scene?
[…] Patrick and I got in the tub and he started the counter pressure that I had wanted the entire car ride. With all the muscle of a construction worker, he applied the double hip squeeze like a professional for every contraction in the next hour. This amazing man only took one break. He waited until my sister arrived, got into position, and had her hands in the right place before sitting back and taking a long drink of water. At that moment, another contraction hit and my sister’s strength couldn’t match my husband’s. My earlier calm and collected approach to labor was out the window by that time and I screamed at him “Put down the @#*?&$@! water bottle and squeeze my @$$!” He did just that. (Learn more about my adventures as the Pregnant Pirate!) […]